I've decided to do some of the work on myself that I've known needs to be done, but I've always managed to find the perfect reason/excuse not to do it. I went back to Curves almost two months ago and last weekend I started a training program for a 4 mile walk in September. Making this commitment has made me realize just how low my self-esteem has gotten. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm very hard on myself when it comes to weakness and I'm really, really struggling with feeling that I'm weak and lacking in willpower right now. Lucky for me I have a husband who is patient with my 'mental moments' (my terminology, not his) and understands that I'm an emotional creature.
Living monogamously has been interesting. I have to say that in many ways it's easier, since there isn't an extra relationship's worth of stress or turmoil, but I find myself missing the little things, like having someone to shower with affection since my husband isn't wired that way. Lucky for me I'm very much aware of the destructive nature of comparison thinking so rather than think about the things that I don't have, I think about the things I'm able to do with my free time. That doesn't mean that I never feel sadness at having lost loves, it just means that I'm not going to wallow in that sadness.
I hope that everyone is having a wonderful summer!
Living monogamously has been interesting. I have to say that in many ways it's easier, since there isn't an extra relationship's worth of stress or turmoil, but I find myself missing the little things, like having someone to shower with affection since my husband isn't wired that way. Lucky for me I'm very much aware of the destructive nature of comparison thinking so rather than think about the things that I don't have, I think about the things I'm able to do with my free time. That doesn't mean that I never feel sadness at having lost loves, it just means that I'm not going to wallow in that sadness.
I hope that everyone is having a wonderful summer!
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