Friday nights my beloved husband usually stays after work and goes out to dinner with his buddies and then plays roleplaying games, which means he doesn't get home until midnight or 1am. My little one goes to bed at 8pm so that gives me some time to myself (if you don't count my teenager skulking around). Lately I've been spending that time talking to my lover on the phone, reconnecting with him and just enjoying the sound of his voice. Although my husband didn't game last night, he was fine with me still talking to my lover since he was tired and just went to bed early.
Friday night we had a lengthy conversation about integrity. It's a subject that is near and dear to my heart. Ours is the first relationship that's started since I had an epiphany about integrity and honesty. My workplace paid to send us to five days of training about powerful speaking and operating as a community and what I took from it is the importance of integrity, which I have integrated into every part of my life. My mother is a pathological liar so I know the damage that dishonesty can do. I also know the disappointment of promising someone something and then failing, only to waste a lot of time avoiding them before you have to come clean anyway. So I made a decision to make integrity a priority.
He and I have said some things to each other that wouldn't be considered politically correct at all. When he did something that I thought was dishonest with his OSO (other significant other), I told him what I thought of that choice. I wasn't mean or judgmental, I didn't speak to him in anger, I honestly communicated my thoughts and feelings as honestly as I could. I can't believe how liberating it is to be in a relationship that's so based in trust and integrity, it's a beautiful feeling!
I feel the same way about my husband, but his struggle to overcome his depression has made it pretty hard for us to communicate clearly. There are layers of other things in the way that we're slowly clearing away. I really want to reach that point with him too! That's not to say that we don't have a great relationship, but there's baggage there that isn't present in my relationship with my lover that needs to be dealt with and/or overcome.
Friday night we had a lengthy conversation about integrity. It's a subject that is near and dear to my heart. Ours is the first relationship that's started since I had an epiphany about integrity and honesty. My workplace paid to send us to five days of training about powerful speaking and operating as a community and what I took from it is the importance of integrity, which I have integrated into every part of my life. My mother is a pathological liar so I know the damage that dishonesty can do. I also know the disappointment of promising someone something and then failing, only to waste a lot of time avoiding them before you have to come clean anyway. So I made a decision to make integrity a priority.
He and I have said some things to each other that wouldn't be considered politically correct at all. When he did something that I thought was dishonest with his OSO (other significant other), I told him what I thought of that choice. I wasn't mean or judgmental, I didn't speak to him in anger, I honestly communicated my thoughts and feelings as honestly as I could. I can't believe how liberating it is to be in a relationship that's so based in trust and integrity, it's a beautiful feeling!
I feel the same way about my husband, but his struggle to overcome his depression has made it pretty hard for us to communicate clearly. There are layers of other things in the way that we're slowly clearing away. I really want to reach that point with him too! That's not to say that we don't have a great relationship, but there's baggage there that isn't present in my relationship with my lover that needs to be dealt with and/or overcome.
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